244 - Decide When You Need an Answer

This is a strategy that can apply to nearly everything in life, not just dating. But of course, we’re going to talk about it as it relates to dating.

When you’re overwhelmed and maybe unsure what the answer is to a dilemma, many times you don’t need to wait, search, or find an answer. Often you just need to make a decision.

Miserable Maybes

Have you ever heard of the “miserable maybes”? It’s when you’re stuck in the loop of waiting for the right possibility to drop. The problem is there are various possibilities and you begin thinking, “Well, maybe if this happens, I will…” Then a short time later, you think of another possibility and you say, “No, maybe I should do…” You’re in the miserable maybes of possibilities and it doesn’t feel good. 

It feels different from having possibilities you can consciously choose from, say having two people who want to date you and picking the one you like better.

Miserable maybes happen when you’re not choosing any option and waiting to see what happens but agonizing over it in the meantime.

Make. A. Decision.

How This Looks

You’ll feel much better. So how does this look in the dating world?  You can make decisions like this:

• Pick 1-3 dating sites to try for the next three months and actually use them consistently to see if they are the right platform for you.
• You begin seeing someone but you’re not really sure you like them in that way. Decide you’re going to give it 60 days of really getting to know them and then you’ll decide.
• You feel like you’re just not meeting people and you don’t want to do online dating. Decide in the next week three new venues, communities, or regular activities you’re going to begin participating in on a consistent basis as a way of meeting new people.

Decision = Action

Deciding puts us into action, which is a really good place to be when we’re dating. Making a decision also forces us to have boundaries about a situation and stop living in waiting for a magic solution. Even if you decide and it turns out to be the wrong decision, you probably learn something that will help you in the future.

So, my friend, what is one thing in your personal dating journey that would help you to make a decision on? Often counselors like myself tell our clients the answer is within them and that’s because it is. It just needs you to make a decision for it to appear.

Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want.

Take our Dating Success quiz.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate