256 - The Missing Piece in Dating: What Others See That You Don't

Allison, founder of Innervue (yourinnervue.com), started as a psychotherapist before moving into industrial-organizational psychology, where she's consulted for nearly three decades. She later trained as a coach and eventually created Interview after noticing a recurring gap between how people intend to come across and how others actually experience them.

What Is Innervue?

Innervue is like a 360-degree feedback tool, but for life instead of just the workplace. Users invite friends, family, exes, colleagues, or anyone in their circle to answer the same questions about them anonymously. An AI feature strips out tone and harsh language while preserving the core message, so feedback lands as constructive rather than hurtful. The platform covers 14 skills and behaviors, including communication, conflict resolution, composure, humility, and positive outlook.

Why It Matters for Dating

Interview has found particular traction in the dating and matchmaking space. Citing research showing only 10–15% of people are truly self-aware despite 95% believing they are, Allison explained how the tool helps coaches and matchmakers see beyond a client's self-perception. Common blind spots in dating include mistaking self-protection for discernment, or being "low maintenance" that reads as unavailable.

Application for the Disability Community

Kathy raised how people with disabilities often worry about how they're perceived and may hesitate to seek honest feedback. Allison emphasized there's no one-size-fits-all answer, but stressed that feedback isn't about flaw or fault — it's about clarity and agency. She encouraged anyone with hesitation to pair the process with coaching support rather than navigating it alone.

Turning Insight Into Action

Reports include 30-day action plans, short instructional videos, and interactive worksheets tied to specific themes. Users can also access ongoing coaching to work through what the feedback reveals and build new skills over time.

Looking Ahead

Allison shared a vision of Innervue eventually partnering with dating apps, potentially giving users who've completed the assessment a visible marker — helping growth-oriented, self-aware people find each other more easily.

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Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate