268 - Long Distance: Is It Worth It?
Why Look Further Away
Many people feel they can’t find anyone locally. Surprisingly, many live in big cities, though the struggle makes sense in small towns and rural areas. For people with disabilities, staying put often matters: local services, accessible housing, and support networks can be hard to give up. Online disability communities make connecting across the country or the world easier.
Benefits
- Video dates from home can feel more relaxed and help you manage energy.
- Comfort at home may make it easier to open up emotionally.
- Long distance works best with frequent, in-depth communication. Kathy notes that casual long-distance relationships she had while single were harder because of the distance.
Challenges
- Travel accessibility, including airlines damaging wheelchairs and equipment
- Inaccessible transit and logistics for medical equipment
- Higher costs for accessible rooms and bringing a personal care attendant
- Risks to benefits and income if someone moves
- Tension over who travels or relocates, and what’s fair
Tips for Making It Work
- Plan visits around accessibility: check the destination, the route, and what support you’ll need.
- Consider a regular call or chat schedule so both partners know what to expect.
- Get creative with virtual dates: watch a movie, play online games, or cook the same recipe and eat together.
- Talk openly about how the distance feels now and how it might feel months from now.
Red Flags
- Refusing to video chat, a possible sign of catfishing or a romance scam
- Asking for money, especially early on, which Kathy calls a dealbreaker
- Reluctance to meet in person
Key Advice
Before dating outside your area, decide whether you’d be willing to move if you fall in love. Knowing this upfront can prevent heartbreak. Communication, problem-solving, and teamwork make any relationship work, and distance tests all three.
Resource
Download the free guide, My Relationship Vision, for clarifying what you want in a partner. This exercise was vital in meeting my husband, who relocated about 600 miles for work before we met.
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Music by Successful Motivation
Artwork photo by Elevate
